you know,
i think this is the only way i can really talk to you.
so i hope you will be reading this. yeah.
4 years have passed. so much has changed.
nothing lasts forever.
sometimes, things really remind me of you.
yeah i admit that i tried hard to forget you after what has happened.
but i am just telling you, i can't. i failed miserablely.
you know sometimes when i pass your house, i would keep looking around,
seeing whether you're in the area, but disappointed everytime.
i just cant get myself to not think about you.
i do not know how we got to this state, yeah it may be my fault.
maybe i am just not good enough for you.
i dun know.
i can't even think of the words to match the way i'm feeling now.
yeah it may be three weeks already.
you probably think that i have already like got a new girl or something.
truth is, i just cant leave the past behind.
there's this saying, the past is only the future with the lights on, yeah i want you to be my lights.
i have grown up loving you for these 4 plus years. its not easy to put everything down.
i dun know. maybe you finally got the freedom you always wanted and you probably never wanna be with me again. i'm just assuming.
sorry, a guy like me needs assurance. i always let my thoughts run wild.
remember the times we used to have so much fun?
remember the times when we were so happy with each other's company?
remember the times when we really had each other in our lives?
how i long for that to happen.
i really dun know.
4 years back i never have guessed that all these would hae happened. i can't guess what we'll be like 4 years down the road.
4 years down the road, would you look back and smile? remembering those happy and cheerful times you have had.
i just really wanna tell you how i feel inside, how i really feel about you.
countless quarrels, countless fights, yeah both of us are really tired.
and now is the break that we really needed after this long war.
i really hope that this break will bring about something worthwhile.
its been three weeks. and i feel the same about you.
this is the only time in my life that i felt that i cant do without someone.
i used to be so proud, assuming that you will always be there for me.
now the truth has hit me, hard. you're gone. and i can't think straight.
this could be the one last time i try to make you understand.
i'll do anything, just to hold you in my arms.
those memories will always stay with me, never to be forgetten.
my wallpaper is still the picture of you and me.
i will try to forget the bad times when we had, but i'll never forget the happy times we shared.
you're the only girl that i have done so much for and i know that i am the only guy that you have really cared about.
both of us are stubborn, we just wanna win.
but this time, i know what its like to lose someone for good.
the feeling is really miserable.
i cant pretend i'm happy when i know its pointless.
i really hope that you're doing fine in poly now.
i will always be happy for you.
those times will never be forgetten.
they will never be erased.
the wound will heal but the scars will never go away.
this is really how i feel now. nothing else is important to me now.
and for the first time, i really am tired of living in misery.
chance is a word thats so hard to describe.
we gave each other so many chances but none of them worked out.
maybe you were right.
everything was a mistake from the start. i dun deny this.
but what's done is already done.
i cant expect you to forget everything in such a short while.
i just wanna let you know that i really need you so much.
in everything i do. i just wanna be there for you.
i'm just typing out what's in my heart now.
and i really hope you have the chance to read this.
for this is how i really feel.
three weeks before, i hated you for leaving me.
three weeks after, i miss you for not being there.
in three weeks time, i hope that i don't need to feel this way anymore, because you will come back eventually.
another saying goes,
if you really love someone, let them go. if they love you too. they will come back.
people make stupid decisions in life.
just learn from it and never do it again.
i regretted not treating you well enough.
but its pointless, because i might never have the chance to treat you well again.
i'm crushed, broken and bruised.
but if was given a choice again, i would take the same route.
i will never regret being with you.
i felt so lucky.
i had such a good partner.
its happy enough to realise that.
i know i am not the only guy in your life now.
and that you probably got better guys to choose from rather than me.
but i wanna tell you that no matter what happens in the future.
i would never regret taking this path with you.
i hope you will return.
someday.
i love you.
